Christmas & the Multi-Colored Sock
I wrote this back in 2008, the year of my divorce. It was a very difficult year for me. I share it now in hopes that any of you going through a one-parent holiday finds some hope and peace through it. I can also tell you that, 12 years later, my boys have definitely found their "multi-colored socks" memories and the family of 3 we created post-divorce has a foundation of love, respect and connection that is rock-solid. I am beyond grateful of the life we have been able to carve out for ourselves and my relationship with them as they grow quickly into men."
6am Christmas Morning. The single hour of the year that I have regrets that I am divorced.
Two little boys waking up with excitement that can be measured on the Richter scale. Waking up to a household with only one of their parents, alternating each year. This year, their first year to experience this, I try my best to make it wonderful. This year, I put up the tree earlier than usual. This year, I teach them the true meaning of Christmas. This year, we sing Christmas songs at bedtime and take extra time counting Christmas lights on houses. This year, I show them how much I love this holiday and always have. And this year, I get the joy of seeing their little faces beam with happiness as they wake up to see the tree surrounded by Santa's treats.
Many emotions have surfaced as I get ready for this first post-divorce holiday. At times it can be overwhelming. I seem to find comfort in the memory of the multi-colored socks. 18 years ago, on Christmas morning, I was the child having my first one-parent Christmas and my Dad was the one who tried to make it good. In the mist of a terrible situation, my Dad found the time to go out and buy and wrap Christmas gifts for us, it was probably the first time this task was his. It was obvious, as we unwrapped them, that he had given a lot of thought as to who we were and what we liked. One of my favorites was a beautiful colored pencil set because I loved to draw, I used them for years and years. Another one was a pair of warm, cozy multi-colored socks.
Today, you will still find one of those socks in my top drawer. The matching pair was lost many, many years ago. I'm not sure if there is anything amazingly special about this sock in itself but to me it is my favorite keepsake. Without a match, it will never be worn again but every morning as I get dressed, I am reminded of how much my Dad loves me. That love is returned with all of my heart.
This Christmas, my single wish, is that somehow, somewhere, sometime during this holiday season, my boys get a "multi-colored sock" memory to tuck away in their drawer. May they have the peace of knowing that I will always love them just as I know my Dad will always love me. I believe that is what Christmas is all about.